Recently, a worker in Ohio asked to share something we wrote about adoption a while back when we were adopting our six from Nevada. We were honored to be asked if she could share it and hopefully it will find the person wondering if adoption has been planted in their hearts. Domestically or internationally, there are children waiting for their mom and dad to answer the call and find them.
“Yesterday, we were sitting at the baseball fields watching our two twelve year old sons play one of their rivals. From behind me I could hear two moms from the other team talking about our sons saying, “how are they brothers? They don’t look alike,” referring to the obvious differences in their skin color. It’s moments like this that I seek diving instruction to touch the hearts of those who don’t understand the blessings of adoption and the power of a family’s love. The unique nature of our family has brought many questions, some criticism, raised eyebrows, but ultimately we have been embraced by our community. We don’t hesitate to share with them “our story” and how both adoption and birth have shaped it.
It is true that by society standards we have a large family. Why would we want to adopt again? We’ve heard it before…”Don’t you think you have enough already?”, as if children are something to be “collected”…goodness. Our response to this viewpoint is simple and yet complicated. We wish we could bring you in to our home to see what it is really like…a crazy and imperfect blend of chaos, laughter, and love.
Raising a family is hard work. Dishes are never done, laundry piles up, and someone is always hungry (especially if they are under 2 or over 12). There is homework to help with, ball games to cheer at, and an endless pile of backpacks and sporting gear jamming up the hallways. There are late night conversations about life to have with teenagers struggling with the pressures of high school, doctor appointments, and field trips. And at the end of the day, there are times that all we can do as parents is pray that we did everything we needed to do for our children. This doesn’t change based on the number of children we have — we will always worry about whether or not we have spent “enough” time with each of them. We will always have laundry, and dishes, and ball games. But what drives us to adopt (and our children, too) is that we believe that ever child should have a family…ours just happens to be a little bigger. 🙂
We try to function with efficiencies like two washers and dryers and the dishwasher never stops. We drive a 15 passenger van and have our cheering section. We have a huge support group of friends, coaches, doctors, dentists, therapists, and church leaders who work with us daily. There is no illusion that adoption will be easy. It will take flexibility, patience, support, and a lot of love to traverse through. We know this because of our vast foster experience and our previous adoptions. But, we also know it is absolutely worth it.
After the game, I watched our sons enthusiastically chatting in the back seat of the van about the game. I didn’t see two boys who have different colored skin. I saw two brothers who, despite all of the odds, love each other deeply and will forever. Why wouldn’t we want to share that with children waiting, hoping, and praying for the same thing? We know we can do this, even when it gets messy and hard. We pray that you will see past our “size” and into our hearts. Because, that’s why we adopt…again.”
Click here for a PDF version: Why adopt again letter
From the land of chaos,